What do you bring on an extended wife hunting safari to help you survive in the bush?

So far I got a pop-tent, $20.00 bucks and a tazer... what else would be helpfull?What do you bring on an extended wife hunting safari to help you survive in the bush?
Tic tacs and an auto air freshener.





Freshen your breath and the stinky bush.





Is that fish I smell?What do you bring on an extended wife hunting safari to help you survive in the bush?
I reccomend you make your hunting uniform a kilt worn in typical Scots style (ie nothing underneath) or a loincloth, depending on how nice your legs are.





Also, chocolates and promises you don't intend to keep are really good for luring a wife out of hiding.





And tell her you love her (even if you don't really mean it) ... oh wait ... that will only get her to sleep with you, not marry you; you have to mean it for her to marry you.
I assume it's a given that you have your ';Hi Karate'; cologne sampler on the ready somewhere in that tent. A box of tranquilizer darts wouldn't hurt, don't know what kind of wife you are hunting for but call the local veterinarian's office and order up about 10 ';Large Animal'; darts and he can fix you up but if he doesn't have any call me, I know a guy and his stuff is completely legal (in Bangladesh anyway). Also, be sure to wear your Member's Only jacket, women love a guy who's up on the latest style. Happy hunting and one last thing, just for good measure, you might want to carry a little penicillin along on your journey to marital bliss!
Cheetos. You'll get hungry.





Also, take a lesson from the cavemen and be sure to drag your ';kill'; by the hair -- if you drag her by the feet she'll fill up with dirt.
Lots of beer and snacks; and vitamins to keep you strong for all this hunting.
A pack of ';AA'; batteries and a dildo. A tube of lube, and some moist towlettes..
Bourbon.





Lotsa bourbon.
honey...I told you I don't have a bush...the pop tent will be helpful though if you know what I mean.
Leopard skin leotard, Medallion and pet chimp.
Prono mags and beer
Marla
20 cases of beer. After you catch her and realize you got married, you'll need it Hon. Nyuk, nyuk.:)
Respect, honesty, honorable, great listener, Godly, well versed on many topics, humor, gentleman ways and a bouquet of fresh flowers.





From what you have gathered for your safari, you seem to be hunting for a wild boar or tiger. Maybe that's what you have in mind anyway, huh? Enjoy your hunt, but don't be surprised if the prey becomes the hunter and the next thing you know, she's got a ring thru your nose, and she's toting you thru the brush in a sack tossed over her shoulder ! hahahahaha





100507 10:25
Roses as a lure.





ya big weirdo.....
You're too modest. You don't need the taser. Just bring a magnum of champagne. If that doesn't do it, use the gun.
URs Or My !)ick
Dude!!


what are ya thinking??


she'll turn the tazer on ya,and make off with the cash,..after carefully wrapping you up in that tent and burying you.


Dang fool!


Bad idea man...